Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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