Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
