Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
wow bdsm is so cute
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize