And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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