He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
