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haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
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