It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am naked and annoyed.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
