on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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