New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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