Non-Jews are for practice
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
