I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
