no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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