What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I believe in your delicious
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
