Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Your dad touched me again.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
