There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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