Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
