there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
