I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
