just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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