sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
