glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
vagina is talking i cant
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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