dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize