I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
