Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
