it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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