I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
