just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize