At least make sure they are 18
Why
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
