I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
