Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize