He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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