Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
