Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
