can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Blood and glitter go together right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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