I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
