READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
