He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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