btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
