i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
