Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
