u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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