So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
