No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
