it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize