Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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