I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
