a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
