She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
