I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize