Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
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