State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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