I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
