The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
