I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
