Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Drunk is not a location!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
