in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
