I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
