This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
