He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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