You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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