If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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